Full of posts t…

Full of posts today!

 

 I recently found that classy topless only joint in baltimore… but i’m nervous because my body is not as buff

Jenwork

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Im the long haired, vaguely native american and irish looking girl in the Social D shirt on your right.

Addiction

I’m an addict. To lots of things, but mostly drugs. Specifically I’ve been addicted or @ least borderline to : 1. Opiates  2. Benzos(xanax, valium, klonopin, whatever) 3. Alcohol

 

I could elaborate on each and maybe will later.

Ive been strugging with the drinking the most since I dont know where to  get opiates here, but both my husband and i receive large prescriptions monthly for ativan and klonopin.  Last year, I slowed down my drinking sometimes even going a month.. but for a good year, i was drunk daily and constantly, from rolling out of bed(kept putting off the hangover…). I puked, every day. I did a  GREAT many embarassing things. especially mixing benzos with booze. just last night my husband said i was slurring. idk how many id taken, maybe 3 or 4 mg. i felt normal in my head but he was so irritated by me trying to communicate with him but simply slurring. whatever you’re doing, you need to stop.

i agree.

i

yet here i am, 1 mg klonopin later and just wasted gift card money on brandy to drink in private, hoping husband stays so enthralled in his video game he will not notice im sipping a little ‘southern lemonade.’

we’re kind of at odds, more than usual, anyway, so he’s not likely to disturb me.

i know dancing led to the drug use. but the anxiety and fear when i moved across the country with a man i didnt REALLY know, kept perpetuating it …

 

im cleaning and drawing.

 

other things in my life are looking way up,  i just had to get that out of me.

I haven’t upda…

I haven’t updated in a while and I’m procrastinating some housework. Don’t worry, the story eventually comes back around to dancing.

Jan4, 7 am, intense kidney and groin pain, vomitting.Husband took me to ER,  IV morphine made the pain WORSE. Turned out to be a 2 mm kidney stone, took 4 days and a LOT of IV drugs & fluids – I finally passed it, pictures upon request But honestly, it was definently a 10 on the pain scale and im no longer afraid to have a baby one day. After passing, I got called in for an interview, a non stripping job i’d really like. the interview went fucking fantastic and I KNOW they’ll be calling me to hire soon. If they don’t, I just passed my pharmacy technician course so theres that..

And after nearly TWO YEARS here, we finally found a nice TOPLESS only bar! It’s a pretty good distance but could be worth the $$ a cpl times a week. Only thing stopped me from auditioning last night is my lack of recent experience – wearing the heels, getting the calluses, rebuilding body strength necessary… and more than anything, my ass – that used to be  so perfect – has gotten a little out of shape. everyone who saw it would laugh, but to ME its out of shape. Good thing we got a kinect and a fitness game.

We’ve been casually discussing trying to have a baby in the future (but the ct scan at hospital found a cyst in my ovary… hmm

Big changes

Quick update. No more dancing missing it a bit.

Moved from Oklahoma to Baltimore/DC area.

Still not making use of my degree.

More to come i am the sleepy girl now

Theme of the week : SMILE, bitches!

In my many years of dancing I have never been in a fight. Most dancers can’t say that.

Lately there’s been tension at the club : mostly because we only have about 7 girls on the roster, so most nites we have only 3 or 4 girls dancing (tiring!.)

This past Friday (or was it Saturday?) it was myself and two other girls. The “dance tally” is visible to anyone on the weekend… I did approximately 17 dances, the other two girls did 2.. combined. This, of course, earned me some nasty looks (even though they “love me”). I was talking to one of them at the end of the night and she mentioned that a couple of black guys she was sitting with were watching me on stage and said “THAT girl makes money?!”

Yes, I’m flat. Yes, I’m insanely skinny (but I’ve got a nice ass woot.) Yes, I am creepy flexible, and no I’m not even “THAT pretty” in the face.

So why did I make money and they didn’t? I enjoy my job. I smile on stage, I joke with customers, I never look bored, play with my cell phone and text on the floor, I never get “stupid drunk.” I’m charismatic and educated, I can talk about anything from astronomy to world of warcraft to archery to … well,  you get the idea.

Ass hurts from sitting here. More later…. maybe :p

Vegas

Just got back from Vegas, had a HELL of a time. Came back with a little cash so I didn’t do terribly. Too many stories to tell… I stayed at the newest and nicest, Aria at CityCenter… Saw O and Le Reve by Cirque Du Soleil, and Kriss Angel front seat Got called on stage haha

Worked tonite.. Lotta dancer drama mostly I was totally uninvolved. There were some cool people in I even made about $300 WOW WOW WOW!!

My hotel!

My favorite hotel

Busted!

Laws vary in every state, and I dont know them. But here in Oklahoma they’re very, very strict.
Ive been on and off dancing for a long time and was finally ticketed last night(and 2 other girls.) The manager said we’ll get with the club chains attorneys monday and find out what the deal is. From what I looked up it’s a $300 fine. But I want this totally and completely erased from my record.

http://www.idiotlaws.com/no-areola-allowed-law/

:Any person on the licensed premises while such person is unclothed or in such attire, costume or clothing as to expose to view any portion of the areola of the female breast”

We aren’t required to wear pasties,  just “latex” (fabric paint) over our nipples. I wasn’t. :/

new webcam

I know I haven’t gotten many readers yet.

But here goes : i’ve got a loan, just one semester worth , about $10K

I need to move out of small town Oklahoma

If you can donate, my paypal is damnyew@hotmail.com

I also need a  video card, feel free to email me about that one

AS I SAID I JUST GOT A WEBCAM. Can’t always expect something for nothing. Donations can be accompanied with some webcam time